he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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