Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Randomize
