I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
