So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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