a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
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