If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
