i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
