Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
