So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
