Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
