There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
