You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
