Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
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