I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
