god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
