His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
