how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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