Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
