I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Acid is not a monday night drug
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
