redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
