Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
