i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
