In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
