its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
