I want to stick my p in your. b.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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