I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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