You're completely useless in the revolution.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
