Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
My legs feel like baby dolphins
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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