I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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