roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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