Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
