Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
