question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
