He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
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