She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
