Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
