you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
