My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
