What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
