im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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