Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
