You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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