she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
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