I'm going to jail i love you
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
My vagina is very pro this idea
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