then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
