And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
