We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
