okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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