i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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