Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
