let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
