I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
