sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
