so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
