At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
