Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I AM VODKA MAN
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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