I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
