i used baking grease as lip gloss
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
