So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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