I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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