just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize