i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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