Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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