Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
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